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I'm going to update this blog with places that I have visited in the past so stay tuned! Until next time, happy poo! Wishing each other diarrhea is not nice kids!

p.s. Drugs give you diarrhea!

Chang An Northwestern Chinese Cuisine - Safe for now....

They passed during my visit!

View Larger Map  

Date visited: June 24, 2012

Time: Dinner time

Party Size: 5

Price: ~$6.59, before tax, per person (split evenly between 5 people)

Food consumed:
- Pickled bun with beef or mutton in shaanxi style - $5.99 (don't recall which type we picked)
- Tomato and egg noodle - $4.99
- Qishan delicious noodle - $4.99 (Boy was it delicious)
- Sesame garlic chicken with chili sauce - $6.99
- Water boiled spicy fish - $9.99
- Judging by the pictures, looks like I forgot to note the 6th dish. It wasn't part of our original order (Portions were small).

Pictures of food consumed: (Click on images to enlarge)

Tomato and egg noodles

Don't remember the name, I just eat because I'm Asian, I eat things that are not translatable.

Sesane garlic chicken with chili sauce

Water Boiled Spicy Fish

I can't identify the other dishes based on the vague descriptions. If you can help me match Pickled bun with beef or mutton in shaanxi style, Qishan delicious noodle and identify the 6th dish, I'll give you credits and bring you along to one of my unofficial health inspection. Not many are granted that privilege.

Review of Restaurant: Today, I discovered that the restaurant failed on multiple infractions on May 4, 2011. Trying to recall my experience back on June 24, 2012, I don't recall getting an upset stomach. For now, this restaurant is safe to dine. The food was rather good, but portions were small for a Chinese place. I prefer my Canton style food, portions enough to feed an entire village.

Whoa, guess what? Look at the location, 240 Alton Towers Circle. Hmm, Twins Seafood Restaurant. Let's hope the past doesn't haunt them.

City of Toronto Inspection Report

Source: http://www.toronto.ca/health/dinesafe/index.htm?show=detail&id=102987

VERDICT: Safe for now....Bon Appétit mesdames et monsieurs!

Chinese Dumpling House - BANNED

Source: Yelp

View Larger Map
Date visited: October 14, 2012

Time: About 7:00 pm

Party Size: 6

Price: $20 per person (split evenly between 5 people - Another birthday dinner)

Food consumed by me: Lamb skewers, Chinese dumplings, Egg Soup, Shanghai fried noodles. Failed to keep detailed records of remaining food. I should have known better, especially dining in a high risk restaurant. Can't forget that I drank a Heineken from a bottle that was pre-opened (I think air-borne bacteria entered in the drink, luckily, the alcohol annihilated them.)

Pictures of food consumed: None. No evidence of food ingested.

Review Site: http://www.yelp.ca/biz/chinese-dumpling-house-toronto

Review of Restaurant: Again, another birthday dinner celebration. I tend not to document my food so I don't act like an ass in front of my friends. Trying to be polite and respect his day. I know better now. I need to be a camera whore and snap pictures of all the food that passed through my digestive system.

Upon sitting down, my stomach grew more and more uneasy. It felt like I had stomach ache. Let me describe the atmosphere. It feels like you are in a Mainland China restaurant, lots of wooden furniture, paint on walls are bland, the show on TV is a Gangnam rip-off. Table was very sticky, probably never washed the cloth.

The waiter was very rude, he walks off before we finished ordered, doesn't give a reply or acknowledges us. Just plain rude.

Luckily, my stomach survived this battle. I don't know how much longer it will last, that is also dependent on the useful life of my toilet.

City of Toronto Inspection Report

Just today (October 28, 2012), I just happened to check their past inspections on the DineSafe website.

Source: http://www.toronto.ca/health/dinesafe/index.htm?show=detail&id=96726

Two conditional passes with multiple infractions in 2 years. My stomach does not lie. If you want to live a painless life, avoid this place.

VERDICT: Technically, I did not get food poisoned here but to be safe, I am BANNING this place. Sorry LWang, although you like this place, it's for the greater good. Better be safe than sorry.

Banned Restaurants

1. Twins Seafood Restaurant
Location: 240 Alton Towers Circle Toronto, ON M1V 4P1
Banned as at August 2007
Reason: Got stomach flu from this place along with 5-6 others
Status: Restaurant is Closed

2. Grand Electric
Location: 1330 Queen St W, Toronto, ON M6K 1L4
Banned as at October 21, 2012
Times Frequented: Once

3. Made in China
Location: 3280 Midland Ave, Toronto, ON M1V 3Z9
Banned as at 2011
Times Frequented: Three
Reason: Served me instant upset stomachs three times. Good track record.

4. Star King Viet Thai Cuisine
Location: 7050 Warden Avenue, Markham, ON L3R 5Y3
Banned as at 2011
Times Frequented: Twice
(To be updated for a third visit)

5. Chinese Dumpling House
Location: 4188 Finch Ave East, Unit 12-13, Toronto, ON M1S 5C2
Banned as at October 14, 2012
Reason: Failed two City of Toronto Inspections on Feb 2011 and Aug 2012. I failed to perform my due diligence and actually ate there.

6. Sweet Sugar Cafe
Location: 4911 Steeles Ave E, Unit 2, Scarborough, ON M1V 4J2
Banned as at 2008/2009
Times Frequented: Many
Reason: Food poisoned around 2008/2009

7. Szechuan Legend Restaurant
Location: 91-92 - 505 Highway 7 East, Markham, ON L3T 7T1
Banned as at November 15, 2012
Times Frequented: Once
Reason: For serving fortune cookies at an authentic Chinese restaurant

8. Akina Japanese Cuisine
39 - 1661 Denison Street Markham, ON L3R 6E5
Banned as at December 23, 2012
Times Frequented: Many
Reason: Inspection reports did not produce a clean record. Once a criminal, always perceived as one.

9. Kim Po Vietnamese Restaurant
58 Redlea Ave Scarborough, ON M1V 4S3
Banned as at March 30, 2013
Times Frequented: Many
Reason: Explosive diarrhea within 4 hours of eating.

10. Zakkushi on Carlton
193 Carlton St Toronto, ON M5A 2K9
Banned as at March 24, 2013
Times Frequented: Once
Reason: Two following mornings of diarrhea, not the pleasant ones, not that diarrhea is pleasant at all. I have probably experienced all types of diarrhea but I'll spare the details for the faint of heart.

11. The Gabardine
372 Bay Street, Toronto, ON M5H 2W9
Banned as at May 29, 2013
Times Frequented: Once
Reason: Gave me a stomach ache a few mins after dining there and the service was subpar.

12. Congee Town
1571 Sandhurst Circle, Toronto, ON M1V 1V2
Banned as at July 22, 2013
Times Frequented: Many
Reason: 3 conditional passes in about 1 year

13. Dong Kee Restaurant
3838 Midland Ave Toronto, ON M1V 5K5
Banned as at October 13, 2013
Times Frequented: Once
Reason: 3 conditional passes in about 1 year. The next one appears to be predictable.

About Me

Who's this guy complaining about the restaurants he visits? What does he do?

I was born and raised in an igloo in the Great Artic. It is located north of the GREATEST country in the world, God Bless the United States of America.


(Didn't know Will Ferrell reinforced this fact until I rewatched Talladega Nights.)
 
I share my room with a pet beaver named Chuck. His name came from the saying "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Answer: A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood. (Source: Wiki Answers)

As a boy, I chased after geese and steal their feathers to stuff them into Canada Goose so fellow city dwellers can wear them at when it's "cold".

Coming from an Asian background, I know Kung-Fu by default and am related to Jackie Chan, Jet Li, and PSY. Yes, PSY knows Tae-Kwon-Do by default. Don't underestimate him by his looks.

My family owns rice paddies and a rickshaw business back in the motherland. Contact me if you want to sample our rice. Our rickshaw business also won many prestigious awards such as annual International Richshaw Race which is funded by the Save the Panda Charity For Profit.

I probably lost credibility for my blog based on this page. So I will redeem myself.



I am born and raised in Toronto, Canada.

My Engrish (can't believe there is a wikipedia entry for this) skills are not the best, I never learned Enrigh grammar before. So blame Sesame Streets if my grammar is not perfect. My dad made me study math.

Source: http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/18463165.jpg

This is why I am an accountant. Lau, portrayed by Chin Han in The Dark Knight, couldn't make this stereotype better: "I'm good with numbers". Forgot the scene, but it stuck to me.

I aspire to become a hybrid Health Inspector and CRA auditor. Since I'm inspecting your restaurant, might as well audit your HST filings. But it is a municipal vs. federal thing. There goes my dream job.

My friends have always asked me to write a blog about my food experience. Most sites/blogs are reviewing restaurants but there is an opening in the market: What if the review is about my washroom experience after eating at a particular restaurant. Hope this blog is useful to everyone and will help you make informed decisions.

Enough about me, read my blog. Praying that your bowel movement are natural flowing and luscious! Happy Washroom Time!

Grand Electric - BANNED

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Date visited: October 20, 2012

Time: About 7:30 pm

Party Size: 6

Price: $3.50 per taco, about $5 for drink. Total was about $21 (after tax and tips), split evenly over 5 people (it was for birthday party, birthday boy doesn't pay)

Type of restaurant: Mexican

Food consumed by me: Baja Taco, Pork Belly Taco , Pig Tail Taco, Beef Cheek Taco and Cerveza Monkey Drink, Nachos with guacamole

Pictures of food consumed: 

Nachos with guacamole; Source: Urbanspoon

Top: Pork Belly, Bottom Left:  Beef Cheek, Right: Baja Taco; Source: Urbanspoon

Pig Tail; Source: Urbanspoon

In hand: Pork Belly , left is Beef Cheek and right is Spicy Chicken (I did not eat Spicy Chicken)

Website: http://www.grandelectricbar.com/

Review of Restaurant: The pictures make this place look appetizing, but don't let it deceive you. My friend picked this restaurant based on good reviews from his friends and on websites. (Seems like the common theme for food poisoning is birthday dinners) 4 of us got to the restaurant at about 6 pm. They do not sit you until you have a full party because the place is small and there is always a line-up going in. The bouncer, she's actually a lady - not sure what to call her. Grand Electric Waiting List tracker?  In any case, she suggested we go to a bar or walk around till the other 2 arrive.

The Rhino is just across the street so we crossed the street to 1249 Queen Street. The Rhino is a bar, serving drinks from around the world. This is similar to BierMarkt, but they know how to spell properly and serves drinks at half their price, $5 for a drink!

We sat at the bar and I ordered a Kronenbourg (Viva la France!). We also ordered a few appetizers such as Patata Oorlog (fries with mayo and some peanut sauce), Patata Bravas (similar to the previous one) and Calamari. I ordered another bière française qui s'appelle Boris. I spent about $13, before tax, for myself.

Once our friends were nearby, we hit back to Grand Electric. We got seats in the backyard, it was covered and heated but very crammed. Ordered our food and enjoyed the night.

The next morning, Sunday October 21, 2012, I had diarrhea at around 11:00 am. Sunday night was bad, I passed gas like no tomorrow. On Monday, I had diarrhea at work and my stomach was feeling uneasy and gasey. I left early to rest up. I was about to visit the doctor's on Tuesday but the diarrhea stopped, only my stomach felt like it was being clenched by something. Wednesday, I had diarrhea once or twice.

My performance at work was being affected, my manager complained that I was being. It is not my fault if  I get diarrhea and stomach feels upset.

I was very upset with the experience after dinning at Grand Electric. I was not mentally prepared for this as this was not a Chinese restaurant. The food was served by Caucasians and served by Caucasians, no Chinese was part of the preparation/serving process. This is the first Caucasian restaurant BANNED. It serves Mexican food, but it is not authentic Mexican nor were any Mexicans involved in this business (from my knowledge and observation)

Some of you may ask, why talk about the Rhino? I am merely disclosing that I ate there, but I am pretty sure that the Mexican food hit me. Pork Belly, Pig Tail? If you don't clean it well, it will cause problems for your guests.

Guest affected: Only Jer. It wasn't like The Bridesmaid.

 

VERDICT: BANNED

Boston Pizza - Fraud?

Date visited: October 18, 2012

Food ordered and eaten by me: Smokey Spaghetti

Click to enlarge

Do you notice anything wrong with this receipt?





Highlight here for answer: Tax is 15%. In Ontario, Canada, effective July 1, 2010, the Harmonized Tax Rate (HST) is 13%. Up to here.
 
By daytime, I'm an auditor, by nighttime, a blogger. Using my auditor cap, this was the first thing I noticed. Normally, with big franchises, you won't expect this to happen.

You only suspect the Chinese restaurants. They will charge you tax but pocket the 13%. This is my second mission: To crack down on business/individuals evading taxes. Here is a lesson in Income Taxes. Taxes support the social services in Canada. Rob Ford, Toronto's mayor, wants to shut down libraries, pools and other social programs. In Ontario, the provincial government is cutting funding to the education system. If the government is not generating revenue from taxes, the only solution is to either raise taxes or shut the programs. If you own a restaurant and deal mostly in cash, you are my target. (end rant)

I asked the waitress why I was charged 15%, she didn't understand what I was talking about. She just said that the gratuity is charged before tax. Another rant, some Chinese restaurants, especially All You Can Eat (AYCE), will charged tips on top of the tax portion, so essentially, you are paying tax on the tips. This is not the proper way, besides tips is subject to the service. You give crappy service, you deserve less tips. It's all relative. (end 2nd rant)

Boston Pizza could be pocketing the 2% as revenue. This is considered fraudulent. Technically the tax amounts belongs to Canada Revenue Agency (CRA), as a business owner, you are responsible for withholding taxes and remitting that amount to CRA.

Secondly, if Boston Pizza is remitting 15% to CRA, this is not correct, they have not updated their system since our GST was reduced from 7% to 6% to 5% from 2006 and 2008, respectively. The fact that the term GST (right above PLEASE PAY SERVER) was not updated to HST, indicates that their system could be out of date. They are over-remitting to the CRA and this is unfair to the consumers.

I submitted a feedback to Boston Pizza through the link on the receipt. I am waiting for a response. They will most likely bribe me with a gift card. In any case, I might raise this issue with CRA. This is a matter of principle, not about the extra 34 cents they charged me. Dragon's Den will need to find a new host for their show.

I will provide updates when available (if they ever get back to a little potato like me).

Update 1 - Oct 31, 2012: I was contacted via e-mail by, presumably, the manager of the restaurant. He asked what the tax issue was about. I replied back within the same day with a copy of the receipt.

Update 2 - Nov  1, 2012: It is being investigated.

Update 3 - Nov 6, 2012:
 E-mail from manager:

Hi XXXX,

I got to bottom of this for you. The tax is on the automatic gratuity, it adds up to the correct math if that is taken into consideration. Thanks for bringing this to my attention as it will be much quicker for us to respond to this from now on.

XXXX

I audited his statement:

Meal            16.99
Tax @ 13%    2.21 (16.99 x 13%)
Tips @ 15%   2.55  (16.99 x 15%)
Tax on tips     0.33   (2.55 x 13%)
Total            22.08  Agreed to receipt (above)


Update 4 - Nov 6, 2012:
 My reply:

Hello XXXX,

Thanks for the reply.

This opens another can of worms. Why was I charged HST on the gratuity? Based on my understanding, it is not correct to charge tax on the tips.

Currently, the 13% HST (in my case - $16.99 * 13% = $2.21) is remitted to the CRA. Gratuity is paid to the waitress. The gratuity is included in their T4 slip and the waitress will report the $2.55 on her personal tax return. The waitress SHOULD be the one that pays taxes on the gratuity not the customer on her personal tax return. Going by the current method that Boston Pizza is using, this means that the CRA is earning double the revenue, once through the customer and secondly by the waitress.

Based on my analysis, it appears that Boston Pizza is overremitting the taxes to the CRA, which is not correct. Taxes should not be charged on top of the gratuity. If you would like to discuss this further, we can have a call/meet up at your location. Alternatively, you can send this information to the tax department, if any or to the accountants. They will understand this.

Hope this helps and rectify your tax isssues. I would like to follow this issue to the end. Please keep me in the loop.

Thanks,

XXXX 

Update 5 -  Dec 7, 2012
No reply from the manager. My e-mail sounded threatening. Anyway, I spoke to the HST expert in my office. This is the conclusion from our conversation:

Boston Pizza is the one forcing the gratuity. As a business, they are registered for HST, therefore they are able to charge HST on the gratuity. At the end of the day, Boston Pizza needs to remit the $0.33 to the CRA. Although I don't agree with this, this is how it works. Can't do anything unless I'm the one creating policies.

VERDICT: No fraud, it's not a Chinese business.

Case Closed.

About the Blog Name

The blog is called Run, Jer, Run. This idea came up during a recent discussion with FChik. We were discussing about potential names. He suggested The Running Man which is based off of some Korean TV show. I was thinking of another movie by the same name, The Running Man, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Today, I just thought of another movie, Forrest Gump.

For those not familiar with the expression, having "the runs" means you need to go take a dump.

So there we have it folks, the name Run, Jer, Run is inspired by Forrest Gump. (Exclamation mark removed to avoid plagiarism - in case the quote is trademarked) iFone is not the same as iPhone if it is spelled differently.

To avoid getting sued by Paramount Pictures for posting this clip, I will help them generate some sales through this non-endorsed promotion. I strongly advise you to buy this movie. It is $15.99 on Amazon.ca. Screw DVD, Blu-ray is the future as of October 28, 2012. For my Asian friends, don't pirate, just borrow from the library or watch it on NetFlix. Tom Hanks won an Oscar for Best Actor. Support Forrest Gump! Fatten the paycheques of the Paramount executives.

For our American friends, Canadians spell checks as cheques.

Dominican Republic - Punta Cana

Majestic Elegance

July 8 - 15, 2012

Majestic Elegance
 
Here's the verdict:
1. Flavours (buffet near the entrance): No stomach aches, good start to morning with the fiber yogurt. Mr Yummy Yummy was entertaining yet creepy. Certified stomach ache free.

2. Sea to Sea: No stomach ache. Passed the standard test.

3. 9 Doors (Japanese): Banned!! Avoid at all cost. Racist chef. JChang was hit hard. Again, BANNED!

4. Asadito Steak House: Seal of approval for creating a safe and enjoyable washroom experience. Service was weird. Got sent back to change but got lost on the way back. So our table ordered the food already and were already eating their appetizers. When I came, I ordered straight away, and got my main course before anyone else. So my experience was exceptional!

5. Limited Gourmand: No comment, never went there. So far, it is not banned....

6. Il Botaccio (Italian): Candle light dinner was most charming part of the dinner. They received the Jer's Seal of Approval.

7. la B del M (late night snack): Seal of approval for providing munchies.

About This Blog

The Beginning

It all started back in August 2007. My friend decided to celebrate his birthday at a Chinese restaurant called Twins Seafood Restaurant located at 240 Alton Towers Circle Toronto, ON M1V 4P1 (It no longer exists and was replaced by a new restaurant). 
 













We ordered a set menu which consisted of pork, beef, chicken, lobster and other things that I cannot identify/remember. It was 5 years ago and I did not keep detailed records back then. We had a great time, enjoyed the food and all was well. A few days passed and suddenly, I started getting diarrhea, then fever, then more DIARRHEA and more DIARRHEA. This whole food poisoning lasted for 1 full week. I'm a Hong Konger and I like a good bargain. Sure the Chinese food was cheap, but I did not pay them to give me the full package: a week long diarrhea experience of a lifetime.

Warning Graphic Description: To describe my experience for those curious or never experienced food poisoning before, you get diarrhea, lots of it. I'm certain that most of us have gotten diarrhea one point in time before, but imagine going to the washroom every 10 mins (literally) for 1 whole week. Some of you might think, "How much poo can my intestine hold?". The truth is, only what you ate (I'm not a doctor, so don't quote me on this, just using common sense - maybe future Dr. K Lee, Dr. C Suen, Dr. K Chen can comment on this). 

When you are sick, you don't have an appetite for food. I barely ate the whole week. So sometimes, I sit in my washroom and only nibbles come out. Your body is pretty much dehydrated by then because all of the minerals/nutrients in your body are flushed out. Also, you poo so much that your anus starts to hurt and will bleed. Also, you don't have time to enjoy reading a book or watching movies on your smartphone/tablet (those devices did not existed to the mass market back in 2007). You just want to go in and out ASAP and cuddle in bed again until 10 mins later. (Editor's note: My stomach is feeling queezy as I am writing this. My stomach was forever scarred by this experience and was impaired) (End of desription)

The Aftermath

Our party size was about 12 people, at least half of us were struck down and put out of commission. It got so bad that I visited my doctor. She took my stool sample as part of normal food poisoning protocol in Toronto. The sample was sent to the health department in the City of Toronto. The Health Inspectors would then visit those restaurants to re-inspect them. 

DineSafe

For those not in the City of Toronto area, we have a program where Health Inspectors would perform one to three inspections per year depending on the risk of the restaurant establishment. The program is called DineSafe. There are 3 types of signs: PASS, CONDITIONAL and CLOSED that must be displayed at visible and obvious places (usually at the entrance). For more information, visit this link: http://www.toronto.ca/health/dinesafe/overview.htm. 

I just learned this by visiting the link above:  "Produce copies of the Toronto Public Health Food Safety Inspection Reports relating to the currently posted disclosure notice for your establishment, when requested by any person" I will probably ask for it the next time I visit a sketchy place.

In any case, the following sign was issued to that restaurant (a print screen was taken, it no longer exists on the website as the restaurant is closed - all of the prior inspections results are available on the DineSafe website for any restaurants):

Under Severity, S stands for Severe and M for Minor
Source: http://www.toronto.ca/health/dinesafe/#inspectionResult

Since the sign was posted,business slowed down. This restaurant was super packed before, that is why we decided to go there. Eventually, it closed down.

 

The Legacy

Since that experience at Twins Seafood restaurant, my stomach was severely damaged. I have started a quest to shut down restaurants that gives me food poisoning. This blog will document my experience at these restaurants. I am not too focused on reviewing the food, it's about the experience after that, the washroom. If your restaurant gives me diarrhea, it will be added to my growing banned list. I am willing to sacrifice my glass stomach for the greater good of humanity.

For all the restaurant owners, don't blame me if you have an inspection, just speak to my stomach and you will from "hear" from it.


I retrofitted my washroom to accommodate my wants. Read the captions. Click on images to enlarge.

Luckily, my room has direct access to the washroom.

Courtesy of NCIX, the CPU magazine takes my mind away from my food poisoning experience.

Need help solving this. Good thing I bought a lifetime supply of these.

PlayBook's real use: coaster for my cup; Need the Lysol to clean up the splash damage; Lysol to wipe my hands after using the Lysol; headset used for gaming from my toilet or listening to music.

Life saver. Take this if you have extra diarrhea.

Here is the theme song for my blog: